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  • Gingerbeard
    replied
    Crap. Look, alltatup my tapdancing jellyfish. Take #64.2 at face value. I'm only trying to help my fellow forumer Miss SoOrbudgal The first thing I did was give an alternative to cat filleting. First thing. Who was it that posted a picture of the shaved cat? See, it wasn't me and it wasn't my idea to shave the cat at all. Someone else gets the blame. Some you folk blame me for atrocities I have yet to commit.

    Then I offered to go back and learn a trade after 10 years of ain't gettin' no skoolin'. Nor having worked for nigh on 7 years. Vivisection and dissection on any animal are not things I do. Otherwise, by now, I'd be known as the Gingerbeard Slayer. Which I am not. I am also not financially able to pay for a higher education and would have to find a way to pay for it. It would be a struggle but I would take one for Team Nebula Fourside.

    December 17. Page 49. Remember, this is Vogon poetry. I am much better because I have no Vogon in my genealogy. The bit in parentheses is not by me. It's part of the poem. The word 'mean' in the last line is crossed out in the book. I don't know how to do a strike-out so just use a Sharpie or grease pencil to mark it out on your screen for full effect.

    Why did the man
    throw the cat
    out the window?

    He wanted to hear
    it say
    "Me-OW!"

    (I made that up.
    I thought it was very funny
    but maybe you won't like it.
    I will try to stop saying
    mean things
    about mean cats.)

    Leave a comment:


  • alltatup
    commented on 's reply
    I'll say that bullshit is deep.

  • Gingerbeard
    commented on 's reply
    Lookin' fer a cat skinner, 're ya SoOrbudgal? Could be y' could shave yer cat, wait 'till the cat gits hairy 'gin, shave it, repeat. Imma gonna go check some youtube videos 'bout the cat skinnin' bid'ness cus that'n what ye asked fer. I'll get back to you 'fter I watch all the videos about cat skinnin' and git my tek-neek down. I'm willing to learn a new trade, this late in life.
    Gonna hear it from ATU. Don't even want to mention her name.

  • SoOrbudgal
    commented on 's reply
    Fur real Gingerbeard i'm rolling up my pant legs as i read this that is deep. alltatup i can make a small blanket out of the fur this cat has brought me if i were a skinner LOL

  • Gingerbeard
    replied
    I have a sign for my door. I didn't realize how deep it is.

    Dog
    She will bark but
    will not go past
    the gate.

    Deep, baby. Deep.


    Leave a comment:


  • alltatup
    commented on 's reply
    Damn! You Oregonians have large rats!!! You go kitties!!!!!

  • SoOrbudgal
    replied
    These are two of my " furry helpers" long haired is young about 7months darker one is 5+yrs we are not sure they are both rescues. Anyway i was on a early a.m. walk around the gardens here i found 3 dead fat rodents that older cat had killed and young kitty learning the ropes.

    Leave a comment:


  • Gingerbeard
    commented on 's reply
    … to think them.

  • Gingerbeard
    commented on 's reply
    The thing about not thinking is when I start thinking again I have a whole bunch of pent up thoughts I didn't think when the time was appropriate.

  • alltatup
    commented on 's reply
    I know, GB: I wish you could simply unwind and quit thinking sometimes...

  • Gingerbeard
    replied
    Not me, babe. It's the book. Here's my poem

    Some roses are red (I'm trying not to generalize)
    Violets are not (thus, the name)

    That's where I get stuck. I get too... I don't know... analytical?

    Leave a comment:


  • alltatup
    commented on 's reply
    You're quite the poet, GB.

  • Gingerbeard
    replied
    Mia culpa. I went back twice and couldn't find your post. … and now I see...
    It's poetry, ATU. I don't have favorite poetry because it's poetry. But the book opened to page 120. It's all sub-Vogon, at best. I need pictures.

    May 19

    The fat black cat
    has been coming to our back door
    Moirrrr?
    she says
    as if asking a question

    I pour milk in the bowl
    and the fat black cat
    slurp slurps
    and then sits back
    staring at me
    her tail slapping slowly
    on the ground
    shisk shisk

    Moirrrr?

    Skitter
    skitters up
    and leaps forward
    her front paws
    occasionally landing
    in the bowl
    and
    the fat black cat
    licks the top
    of Skitter's head
    and the turns
    and saunters away
    apparently
    satisfied.

    Leave a comment:


  • alltatup
    commented on 's reply
    alltatup
    #55.3
    alltatup commented
    Yesterday, 04:41 AM
    Pick your favorite, GB, and recite it to us...

  • Gingerbeard
    commented on 's reply
    I didn't throw my water cup at you. Consider it me saying please.
    Vulcan cat pottery.
    And I ain't yer cuz, Shirley.

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