On a lighter side

[Ckbrew]

10 characters

[BU2B]

George (Carlin) would be proud PRIMO - this IS PRIMO. Too much there to comment on - all of it right up there with “How! High are ya?”

[Mr.furley]

Victoria was a dude! that's the secret.

[Rwise]

That extra penny is taxes, and Victoria has no secrets.

[PRIMO]

I am 71 years old and I have so many unanswered questions!!!! I still haven't found out who let the Dogs Out...where's the beef...how to get to Sesame Street... why Dora doesn't just use Google Maps...Why do all flavors of fruit loops taste exactly the same, or how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop......why eggs are packaged in a flimsy paper carton, but batteries are secured in plastic that's tough as nails, yet light bulbs too are in a flimsy carton... Ever buy scissors? You need scissors to cut into the packaging of scissors... i still don't understand why there is Braille on drive up ATM's or why "abbreviated" is such a long word; or why is there a D in 'fridge' but not in refrigerator... why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor yet dish-washing liquid is made with real lemons... why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections... and, why do you have to "put your two cents in" but it's only a "penny for your thoughts" where's that extra penny going... why do The Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune... why did you just try to sing those two previous songs... and just what is Victoria's secret? ....and what would you do for a Klondike bar and you know as soon as you bite into it it falls apart...and Why do we drive on Parkways and park on Driveways? do you really think I am this witty?? ... I actually got this from a friend, who stole it from her brother's girlfriend's, uncle's cousin's, baby momma's doctor who lived next door to an old class mate's mail man...Now it is your turn to take it from me...Peace!!
Copy and Paste, change the age, and enjoy your day!

[BU2B]

Amazing Simple Home Remedies
•If you are choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. PRESTO! The blockage will instantly remove itself.
•Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
*Avoid arguments about the toilet seat...Use the sink.
*For high blood pressure sufferers~~ Simply cut yourself and bleed a few minutes., thus reducing the pressure on your veins. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
•A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
*If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough at all.
*You only need 2 tools in life..
..WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use WD-40....If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.
•Remember- Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
•If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

AND A DAILY THOUGHT:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES....NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

[BU2B]

The lady from My Fat Fabulous Life?

[SoOrbudgal]

LOL she reminds me of someone heee heee.

[SoOrbudgal]

[BU2B]

Sigh-ence made Simple

[BU2B]

😆 “Children of Men” love that part of the film - where he’s explaining how if you give a slight cough after an exhale you can really taste the strawberries in his Stawberry Cough.
For those who think they can’t do impressions - just say MY COCAINE out loud. PERFECT - you sound just like him 👍🏼

[Blowdout2269]

Comparable to yours BU2B.
Possibly a repost. Though I just realized it literally works with the discussion title, lol.

[Blowdout2269]

Hell, guess I'll like it here too!

[BU2B]

for better or for worse ,, this is HONESTLY the truth

[Puglover1]

3Berries I considered opening my garage door just enough for the kitties but then ... mice. Neighbor last minute cut plywood for a west 'wall', braced it, and made a half wall from the north. There was a heating mat between pillow layers in a bin, bin lid provided some wind protection. Heated water bowl iced over but they could still access cold water. When the kitties jumped onto the porch near the front wall of the house they bumped the extension cord, owner is an electrician. I started bringing over warm water to start. Before the storm I threw out whatever food might help the bigger critters before they holed up. I saw black birds being thrown around the sky, shades of Hitchcock in my head. I was waiting to see if any deer braved it ... Flying Deer right before Christmas, what a photo op.