SoOrbudgal, that reminds me of my dear sweet mother's favorite joke the last few years of her life.
A woman walks into a quiet neighborhood tavern and orders a beer. The only other people there are the bartender and a guy sitting several seats down the bar. As she’s finishing her beer she orders another, looks at the guy sitting down the bar and says to him, “Hey, I’ll bet you $20 that I can piss higher up a wall than you can.” Eyes bugging out slightly, he says, “I beg your pardon?” She repeats herself, louder this time, saying “I’ll bet you $20 that I can pee further up a wall than you can. It’s simple.” The bartender, of course, has been listening with amused interest. The man says, “Bartender holds the money?” “Absolutely,” she responds. They finish their beers and each hand the barkeep, who is definitely interested now, a $20 and head for the back door. They step into the alley behind the bar [You knew there had to be an alley, right? HA!] and the man, being a gentleman, says, “Ladies first. Please,” waving his hand at the wall and chuckling with that ‘this is going to be the easiest $20 I’ve ever made’ kind of a look on his face. The woman, with no embarrassment, backs up to the wall, bends forward. pulls her skirt skirt up and her panties down, and squirts onto the wall. Once she’s finished, she straightens herself out, brushes off her clothes (as if she had somehow dirtied them), and says, with a big shit-eating grin on her face and pointing to the top of the wet spot, “Okay, that, so to speak, is your high water mark. Pee higher than that and the money is yours!” The guy chuckles aloud but clearly to himself, unzips his pants, pulls himself out and juuuuust as he’s about to pee, she says “Uh uh uh, no hands!”
Yeah, my mom was a real card.
A woman walks into a quiet neighborhood tavern and orders a beer. The only other people there are the bartender and a guy sitting several seats down the bar. As she’s finishing her beer she orders another, looks at the guy sitting down the bar and says to him, “Hey, I’ll bet you $20 that I can piss higher up a wall than you can.” Eyes bugging out slightly, he says, “I beg your pardon?” She repeats herself, louder this time, saying “I’ll bet you $20 that I can pee further up a wall than you can. It’s simple.” The bartender, of course, has been listening with amused interest. The man says, “Bartender holds the money?” “Absolutely,” she responds. They finish their beers and each hand the barkeep, who is definitely interested now, a $20 and head for the back door. They step into the alley behind the bar [You knew there had to be an alley, right? HA!] and the man, being a gentleman, says, “Ladies first. Please,” waving his hand at the wall and chuckling with that ‘this is going to be the easiest $20 I’ve ever made’ kind of a look on his face. The woman, with no embarrassment, backs up to the wall, bends forward. pulls her skirt skirt up and her panties down, and squirts onto the wall. Once she’s finished, she straightens herself out, brushes off her clothes (as if she had somehow dirtied them), and says, with a big shit-eating grin on her face and pointing to the top of the wet spot, “Okay, that, so to speak, is your high water mark. Pee higher than that and the money is yours!” The guy chuckles aloud but clearly to himself, unzips his pants, pulls himself out and juuuuust as he’s about to pee, she says “Uh uh uh, no hands!”
Yeah, my mom was a real card.
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