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Sorry

Redwasp

Redwasp

New member
Sorry to you guys. You know who you are. I know I have issues. If i offend anyone im sorry. I dont mean to. Just had a rough life. Did things I never wanted to. Made to do things that no one should ever have to do. I try to erase that. Try to hide that side. Its there and wont go away. A few know what ive done and i was ok then. But looking back i should have said no. Fuck you. But i was a good boy amd did as told.

But i know soil. I know plants. And would give you everything I have if you needed it. So please forgive me when I explode. I cant stop it. Its there. Will always be there. Anyways just wanted to apologize openly to those I upset.
 
I will always admit when I was wrong. Its kind of the problem. Some of the shit we did was just wrong. You dont get a choice. But still fucks you up later.
 
i think he means you are in control of your future you cant change your past but you can change your future! this place is a cool place to learn about growing but its a cool way to have people to talk to as well! im here if you need me..
 
It's not advice. It's just how I choose to live my life. In the moment. We have all done shameful things. Horrible things. I cannot allow myself to be paralyzed by guilt & remorse over a past which cannot be undone. Nor will I allow myself to be paralyzed by the fear of what tomorrow may bring. That leaves me with today. Just one day. This day. That's a battle I can fight. I might add that it's extremely important for me to have someone I can really talk to. Someone I can be completely honest with. Without that, I'm stuck up inside my own head & that is a dangerous place for me to be without supervision. While I agree that this is not the forum for it, I would encourage you to keep saying what's on your mind. GWE seems to be full of understanding folks from all walks of life & while you might not hear what you want to hear you'll certainly hear what you need to hear. And who knows? Maybe you'll say the very thing that someone else needs to hear too.
 
I have a few I can talk to. My wife i try to tell but get stop dont want to hear that. I really try not to dwell in the past. But due to things happening now, currently i see what I did to others.
 
we are human we make mistakes everyone does you just have to learn from it and let it go and move on dwelling on your past is just time wasted theres alot of shit i wish i could change but thats life for you, you cant erase shit it own it or forgot it leave it in the past dont let your past ruin your future
 
One of the best things about growing is it is always about a better future there is no past. whenever I start to slip into that loop of the past I bring my plants future into my mind and it clears.
 
Redwasp Brother its all good we deal with things others cant possibly imagine and dont have to live though . what was done is done thats true ,but the dreams go on and on, do you have a counselor with the VA or a buddy that went threw similar events and understands . I often blow up yelling and screaming at people (with windows closed of coarse lol) it freaked my wife out something awful until I explained its how I don't let things bother me I yell for a couple of minutes until its over then move on ,Your dealing with things from long ago and anything can set it off . to those who haven't lived though it its hard to understand .so if you need to vent go ahead and vent to me I dont mind and will forget it in a few minutes anyways lol. We all have Buttons that set us off and sometimes we get surprised with a new button . I consider myself to be a very lucky Marine I had almost 4 years of peace time duty then a month of hell in my forth year ,I have dreams that still bother me but you guys did a year or more in hell at a time , So God bless you brother and yell away to hell with them if they cant take it ,
 
Oh and the thanks bud comment was meant for here. I still hate computers, cell phones, etc. Give me an atari 2600 or commodore 64. Fewer buttons. The Atari was on and off. Lol
 
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