I prefer 4†cylinders myself, cheap, effective, and you won’t break the bank replacing them after 2-3 grows. 1 stone for every 5 gallons of water and spend the extra $$ on a larger air pump with a manifold. For a top feed pump I would follow the GWE hydro tutorial, I believe a 185 gph pump is recommended which is more than enough.
You mentioned 3 sites per 10 gallon. Can you clarify how many plants you intend to take to harvest per 10 gallon? I do not recommend more than 1 plant per bucket after the roots reach the water.
The totes work well for most growers but I love a system with a reservoir that is outside the tent, makes for easy all day access to check pH, PPM, and water level.