Medicated anecdotes

[Gingerbeard]

A few stories, please,
silly as they be.
Stories of humor and reverie,
'tho none too extreme,
No bruises.
No breaks.
No unstoppable bleeds.
Just stories of times
you made an ass of yourself
when smoking some weed.

Got up for a smokes break. A bong and a cig. I was weighing my options of which went first. The next thing I knew I was standing at my balcony door with my bong in my hand. It took a good five seconds, according to my buddy, before I realized I couldn't get my mouth on the mouthpiece because the cigarette I had in my mouth was in the way.

Got up to wash my hands and brush my teeth. The toothpaste wound up tasting like Dawn dish liquid because that's what I use for hand soap in my bathroom.

This came about because I was vacuuming, earlier. I got to a corner. Pushed the vacuum in the corner and spent a long, medicated moment trying to figure out how to vacuum around the vacuum in the corner.

I don't know if it's the proliferation of impaired holidays drivers, working on their own medicated anecdote. Why are so many people running into pine trees this time of year? This is exactly why I'm glad I'm not a tree.

[Canuck147]

Changing my Mazda 3 tires for winter - I loosened the lug nuts, took all 5 off and couldn't understand why i wasn't able to pull the wheel off the car - wasn't jacked up - oops - put on a couple nuts and then jacked it up.

[SmashGuitar]

HaHa something like that happened to me when i was an appretice mechanic in the 90's. The new design Dodge Dakota truck came out... the Dodge Dakota! Impressive i thought. I had to inspect the brakes. I grab my impact gun and zip off 5 lug nuts. Then i tried to remove the tire (it is up on the hoist at the moment) it would not come off. I grabbed my 5 foot pry bar and its still not coming off? I fought with that tire for 5 to 10 mins. Then the licensed mechanic seen me fighting and comes by. He looks at the the tire and says you forgot a lug nut! These trucks now have 6!

[Woodsman67]

Back when I was young I was smoking a joint with a friend in the school smoking area. A teacher walked over, looking for the smell. I threw the joint down, stepped on it and pulled a cig out my pack just then I got eye balled and old Wally walks up to me, Mr allen. Pretty stupid of you lighting that joint in front of me. I was confused. Everyone was laughing. I was giggling, cause I was stoned. Then i understood. I pulled a friggin hooter out of my Marlboro pack and was too stoned to tell the difference. Thankfully Wally just made me toss it and step on it. He said someone that stupid would never make it in jail

[SmashGuitar]

That is hilarious Woodsman67

[Spidermite]

When I was a teen I had a friend staying the night at my house. We smoked a big fat ass joint when we probably only needed a pin sized joint. Well later I couldnt find my friend. I asked my sister who was sitting on the couch and she said he went home. Well I called his house and his mother answered and I asked if he was there. She said "what he is at your house!!" When I turn around my friend had been sitting on the couch by my sister the whole time. I just somehow couldnt see him earlier. Well needless to say my friend got his ass beat so bad from his dad. I thought it was hilarious, my friend not so much.

[YYCannabis]

Playing in a ball tournament in a small town. Ran out of the beer gardens, not drunk but high as fuck, and I stunk... I knew I stunk of weed. Jumped into the backseat of a white Ford Crown Vic that I thought was someone from the team heading back to the campground...it was a cop car.
Luckily enough for me, they were heading to the campground anyways and dropped me off at my campsite.

[alltatup]

These are the reasons I always vape at home... I can't remember what happened back in the 60s...

[Eliot Pryor]

If you remember the '60's you weren't there.

[JDU]

Sing it son!!

[Gingerbeard]

I'm not going to post this in one of the 'Lighter Side' threads because it's only funny to you people. I am still not amused. In short...
Done with showering Dabber. Took my wet shirt off to put on a dry one. Taking off the wet shirt pulled my glasses of and one of the lenses popped out. No problem. Tossed the glasses on the bed. Everything back in order and went for the glasses. Found the glasses but couldn't find the popped lens.
I fing spent a fing stoner fing hour and a fucking (oops) half fing looking for my fing lens. Swept my floor. Dusted. Shook everything out including couch cushions. Made my bed. Checked the clothes I was wearing. The fridge and freezer. Garbage disposal. A glance in my toilet. Recyclable and non-recyclable trash. Patio. Porch. Soil I was using. Everything many times. Seriously about the fridge and toiled and those.
Shook the towels on the couch, again. Upended the cushions, again. Had a seat to try to dab myself into remembering where I put the fucking (again, oops) lens. No dice. I stood up to check everywhere, again. I turned around to check the couch, again. I was sitting on the fucking (sorry, last one) lens!!! But that's fing unpossible!!! Unless the lens was stuck to my early middle aged ass, it's just downright unpossible. No issues with my pucker factor. No shatter stuck to my butt or the lens.
See, you might find that humorous. I'm having a hard time coming to terms with the past time.
My house is clean.
I need a dab.

[Gingerbeard]

Goddawn faeries! I had to spend a week with five at a corporate confidence building course. The worst one was Tink. You know, Tinker Bell. She used me, man. As I was falling backwards off the platform, that little bitch let out a sloppy fart. Everyone on the course turned to look at her. Of course, I fell 14 feet to land at the feet of the faeries that were supposed to catch me. She used me to get a laugh. To be the cool faerie. I don't remember much after that.
They're worse than underpants gnomes. Garden gnomes are the worst. They just stand there in the bushes. Watching.

[Spidermite]

Lol I have no idea if anyone will get this, but if you watch the show I'm talking about you will understand. "Sam, kill the fairies kill the fairies" as Dean is dragged off by the police. You either get it or you dont.
I'm surprised I can even type a sane post atm. Apparently the last batch of cookies was 3 times as strong as the last.

[Gingerbeard]

I wonder what faerie cookies taste like. Sprinkle faerie dust on top.
Cat

[YYCannabis]

I miss living in the mountains. I live in the prairies again and still love it. But there was something about the dead silence and tranquility that can be found by going only 100’ into the forest.

[Gingerbeard]

There is nothing in nature that is bad. All is as it should be.

[Gingerbeard]

Found myself a fat dab whilst cleaning around my dab area. There were enough little pieces laying around that I got myself a bonus! I've trimmed off as much hair as I can. That's a dab I'll save for a rainy day or practical joke on the next person who walks through the door. The strain will be explained as 'Hair of the Dog OG.'

[alltatup]

Life is full of magical serendepities; we experience and understand them better when we're medicated.

I think Dabber put the lens on the couch for you to find. He found it on the floor, he didn't want you to step on it, so he carefully picked it up and laid it on the couch. Then your ass wiped off all the saliva.

[PRIMO]

Whoa..Dude, what song were we playing ?

[SoOrbudgal]

LOL now that's a fine piccolo why didn't we ever think of that usage?