Domino's is now selling 'stuffed' tater tots!!! My disgust is scintillating. I have discoballs instead of eyeballs. I mean, really! Call it what it is: A tater tot pizza. Ain't nothing stuffed about it. Very Homer Simpsonian.
Pizza dough is as healthy as bread. Tater tots are as healthy as... fucking tater tots! Shit should be getting healthier, not greasier and harbinger of an early death.
Used to be:
'Thank you for calling Domino's this is Gingerbeard. How may I help you.?' I have a real cool telephone voice. Real suave. Atomic timing. Got more than one request for me to deliver, just to see what my telephone voice looks like.
At the end, 'Anything to drink?'
'Would you like to try some buffalo wings, Twisty Bread, or salad?' Reeeel cool. Like I didn't actually just try to upsell. It was their idea to order something extra.
Just aint right, is all I'm saying. Find me a legit pizza joint that serves fucking tater tots and I will do something dramatic in response. Do not mention tater tots as a topping. I already thought of that so you will not get your poke. If you want potatoe on your pizza I got the downlow. It'll set what you know about pizza back to Totino's Pizza Rolls.