Eat sandwiches you make on the counter. No mayo so you don't muss up a knife. No fingers because they make more of a mess.
Own one each: Knife, fork, spoon, cup, bowl, plate. Cook only water for eggs, coffee, and edibles.
Allow pets to clean eating paraphernalia. Use a square of toilet paper to wipe down the counter when you're done making your sandwich.
Please recycle the tin trays from your TV dinners. Best places to keep food trash are in the freezer and refrigerator so you don't have to take it out any time soon.