I myself have suffered serious panic attacks, anxiety, ptsd, and straight up fucked up since my Fiance' passed away almost 5 years ago now. She was 38. I turned to the bottle and tried my damnedest to catch her. I lived like dogshit for 3 years. After a few Kambo sessions, I was finally free. Haven't drank in 18 months now. I have now learned to appreciate little things in life and say "its all about being on the right side of the roots now". I have now decided to fuck the 9-5 shit jobs and do what I love (growing). Good friends, good weed, laughter and good music are my best recommendation for you. All of this will pass with time I tell myself. Everyone has battles and I have faith you will come out stronger. Enjoy the journey and stay strong. You got this!!!!