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Patience, Tolerance & Diversity

Jesus BU2B . So sorry you feel that way. You have been one of the most level headed ones here for as long as I've been here. I too miss a lot of the past contributors, and it just doesn't seem as fun anymore. As much as I'm still learning every day here I hope to continue and try to be the best grower I can be, with a large chunk of my optimism coming from learning from contributors like you. Please drop in from time to time.✌️😞
 
I'm less tolerant to new folks who push their ideas onto those who have experience but tend to be less into the " new world of grow techniques " it can be very simple or you can complicate it with too much science and tech. What seems to work for someone on one side of space does not always work for the person 3,000 miles away. That person needs to research best practices for there area . This forum was intended I believe for new recreational growers to learn basics. I'm not letting some bully or BS newbie discord this site, I don't want to see the anger i see on other grow sites brought here. They can stay the heck away not contaminate this place. Yes i miss the fun an humorous easy going gang. I won't keep my mouth shut around passive aggresive speaking, kindness is a 2 way street.
 
I was bullied pretty badly on this site because I prefer to use less popular, less expensive, nutes and growing media. Nobody stood up for me, so I figured this was a wide-open space for that kind of stuff. Also figured the site should be more accurately named, "Grow Weed More Expensively." I was spending way too much time and effort posting pics and progress to get kicked in the teeth and humiliated. Glad you spoke out against it BU2B, but it may be too late for me to be a regular contributor again.
 
It's more than unfortunate. He has no reason to run from this site, he left behind vast knowledge, experience and respect. He was trying to bring experienced growers together to help other growers. I don't feel experienced enough to answer many questions but if I see someone post and no one replies I at least acknowledge their post, and hope someone more knowledgeable follows up. We were all newbs once. It can feel intimidating here at times. I hit the lottery when I joined and will be forever grateful to the helpful members, especially Mr.furley
 
I know I said no more posts from me and I mean that... but that doesn't mean no more comments: If this gets me kicked, oh well. Hi - glad to meet you my name is james. After all these years figured it was about time to properly introduce myself and before I continue I would like to point an out an error that is taken as fact these days - NO Kindness is NOT a two way street - thats' Reciprocity; and Friendship a few streets over both of those are two way streets.

You my dear are my greatest defeat and hope. I think you're better than what you give yourself credit for and your potential and knowledge are through the roof - your patience and tolerance of others... not so much. When I first started visiting GWE there were around 800 active members, by the time I became a member that was about 600, last year it was 400, this year GWE at this point is down to under 300 active members. Hasn't ANYONE?!?? ever stopped to ask why? Friends would come back to hang out with friends if they felt there were friends to hang out with even if they had learned how to grow.

Anyone who has been around me much knows I'm a godless soulless heathen buddhist and have no toleration for the accepted norm - just because it's how something HAS been done doesn't make it the right thing to do. You can not talk to people very long without them getting at least some notion of who you are whether they have ever met you or not. I've always gotten the impression you were smart, knowledgeable and often quite funny - but you have a tendency to wear that authority a bit like a crown and in this day and age it doesn't take much of a rumble to set off crowd mentality especially when the crowd leader is encouraging dissention.

When you have the time and you're over being mad at me, take some time to go back through your many thousands of posts and read them in order like you're a newby. When someone replies to your welcome with 'thank you, a nice day has you' it seems pretty darn obvious to me that maybe, just maybe English is not the first language and a little tolerance and patience may be needed in the long run.

YOU have the potential to influence many - what that influence is, is completely up to you. I've said all I've got to say and hopefully in a way that will make you think -
I know I can't do anything about how people treat others than to follow my own advice. If I had you're mailing address and the health I'd love to give you the book THIS IS WATER, a big hug and tell you to lighten up a bit it will be okay- smile, cry, smoke a bowl and carry on. There are people on here that have literally had their lives and hearts ripped apart in the last year or so - yourself included, if they can be nice - you can too. Please, with all you have to offer, don't become a hard hearted alice.
 
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exactly alltatup a note to Sirius who is on practically 24/7 or a thoughtfully worded private message to the person works wonders and stops 99.99999% of problems before they become problems. No need to keep the dung flying. All too often it's simple misunderstanding.
 
Very interesting how this topic is evolving. The hardest thing to do is to examine ourselves and see clearly our own "shadow" side, to see the things we don't want to see about ourselves. Many of us may have an emperor complex: even if it's just our little fenced in backyard, we want to rule and command respect.

Most folks are walking wounded if you ask me: humans suffer different degrees of abuse, pain, trauma, cruelty, etc.: I don't think one can be human and avoid those aspects of life. I always tell my students that learning to cope with pain, failure, disappointment & loss perhaps contribute more to a healthy, strong personal humanity than all the happiness, success and love do. Don't get me wrong: I love happiness, success and love, but where would I be as a human bean without all the struggles and pain that have propelled my personal growth?

I'm 69 and still learning new stuff about myself and how to live this exhilarating life every day: I get to see the darker nooks and crannies of myself better now, because all these decades of life have made me a bit more self-aware. Growing up is a lifetime's work for our species: ground apes are complicated that way. I do my best to work with humans: I care very much for the young folks I teach, but I hate academic bureaucracy, authoritarianism, conformism and all the bureaucratic minds that seem to be running most everything these days. The gen-Z'ers are kind of driving me crazy with their inability to relate to anything other than their fucking phones, but other than that, I do ok...

We're all crazy, it's just that most of us don't cause much harm with our craziness. BU2B I will mourn your loss if you leave, but you gotta follow your path...
 
alltatup that's an interesting take. I think you're probably right about a lot of it. I am not a conformist, and I detest with a white hot passion authoritarianism, but I'm not to put off by governmental bureaucracy maybe cause I'm a little crazy that way. :) So I can relate to what you're saying.

Could you expound a little more on this? " The hardest thing to do is to examine ourselves and see clearly our own "shadow" side, to see the things we don't want to see about ourselves." Are you referring to the real us that we don't ever let anyone see?
 
golfnrl Thanks for asking. I would say that "the real us" is very complex and has a lot of different facets, and we aren't conscious of all of those facets. There's the "me" I consciously want to project to the world, but that's not all of me, and even that "public me" isn't consistent: humans are full of contradictions. What is usually referred to as the "shadow" consists of the parts of ourselves--behaviors, attitudes, thoughts--that don't exactly mesh with the "public me."

Self-examination is a daunting task. We have to let go of the idealized version we hold of ourselves and see into all the dark nooks and crannies of our personality. Most folks refuse to give up the idealized self-view they hold, or the belief that it's someone else's fault or they are the victim, etc. We have all observed that repeatedly in folks who claim to be good christians and do terrible things. I've been journaling for decades, and that is an exercise in writing down what really happened and what I really did and how I really feel: it's not fun, but it's liberating and it helps me grow. One of my favorite uses of cannabis is to help open the doors of perception and give me more relaxed access to the things I may have more trouble confronting in myself.
 
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Ya, we’ll… I’m not really gone I guess. But I have hacked my phone to say ‘Really!? Think about it!’ In place of Post 😉
 
Thx alltatup. Again, I think you're right. Being honest with yourself is not as easy as it sounds. I think a lot of what you are referring to is simply self-control. No one controls how I react to any given situation except me. Being intolerant of others is a learned behavior. I think we are losing our ability to express ourselves and are falling back to base human nature. But, I will def fill a bowl and ponder your thoughts...for how can I ever expect to expand my own knowledge/opinions if I never consider someone else's point of view?
 
golfnrl These are hard times; I've never vaped as much as I am these days just to be able to cope with the state of things. Thank goodness for cannabis: that's all I can say.
 
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