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On a lighter side

To increase my plant count I am pondering putting a few over the fence into my neighbor Nancy's yard. I'll share some of the harvest with her.
 
Are my testicles black?"



A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.


A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"


Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"



Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and

pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.


She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."


The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,

"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,

very, closely:

"Are - my - test - results - back?"​
​
 
So the salesman knocks on the farmhouse door and is greeted by the farmer and a 3 legged pig
the salesman is quite surprised and asks the farmer, why does the pig only have 3 legs?

the farmer proceeds to tell him how one day, the tractor flipped over and the farmer was pinned below but the pig
kept digging and rooting enough dirt that the farmer was able to escape from below

the salesman again asks...but why does the pig have only 3 legs

the farmer proceeds to tell him how one night the house caught fire and the pig made
such a ruckus and had woke up everyone in the house....he saved the family

but..said the salesman, why does the pig have only 3 legs?

damn, said the farmer...you get a pig this good you don’t eat him all at one time !!
 
Little Johnny is in school and the teacher asks the kids a math problem
class, what if there are 3 birds sitting on a fence and we threw a rock and two birds fly away....how many birds are left?

Mary raises her hand and says teacher, there would be 1 bird left.
yes, Mary, you are correct
Little Johnny raises his hand and says Teacher teacher, if you threw a rock, all of the birds would fly away
well, Johnny, that is true but for our little example, 3 minus 2 is 1 bird left on the fence

BUT...said the teacher, it shows you have a good imagination

later that day, Little Johnny raises his hand, Teacher..I have a question
if there are 3 ladies on a bench eating ice cream cones and 1 is licking the cone, 1 is biting the cone and 1 is sucking the cone...which one is married?
well, she said.... it’s the one sucking the ice cream cone

nah ! Said Little Johnny.... it’s the one with the wedding ring...but it shows you have a good imagination too
 
I have never done dabs or extracts but I did eat a caramel and some gummies. Not sure if I did enough I don't remember LOL
 
It reduced my flower consumption considerably. You don't need to buy any special tools to smoke it if you don't want to, the wife only likes it as a bowl topper.
 
Brings to mind the old worn out cliche that size does not matter, but how you use it. With a population approaching 1.4 billion people those micro dicks are very efficient. I am ashamed to post this knowing full well mine is smaller. Now you see it. Now you don't!

I myself prefer efficiency to brute force. That's why my favorite vehicle is my Prius. Better than the German super cars.
 
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Nope. Heard all the Johnny jokes. A word beginning with 'R', little foul Johnny. Rats! Rats with dicks thiiiis big.
I laugh at situational comedy. Word play. Droll humor. Catch-22s. Suggestivism.

A guy is walking through the airport with a buzzard on his shoulder.
An airline person told him he couldn't take the buzzard on the airplane.
They guy says, "That's okay. It's a carrion bird."

That is freaking hilarious because of the word play. Also, because it's my own joke. Not many people get it because they don't know what a carrion bird is and can't make the link between carry-on and carrion. Then there's the thing about having a scavenger on an airplane. Ominous. That is a knee flucking slapper! Carrion! HA!
 
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