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Apologies to the community

Thanks Mr Furley this is good advice. I agree that sometimes we have shamed growers and i am also part of that. I dont want this to be a cool kids club either and regret making people feel stupid for asking questions. I am glad that we are discussing this as i think it is important to step back and really look at how we handle things. I'm not gonna lie, all of this has made me realize how emotionally exhausted i am dealing with everything i am dealing with.
 
I am realizing i am a hair away form losing my mind. The dog that people seem to think is dead is not dead yet, but she cant walk hardly and i have to hold her up to piss and shit. She falls down at least 6 times a day and i usually wake up to piss or shit smeared into the carpet. This is not a new occurrence and has been going on for the past year. I took her to the doc a month ago and as a hail mary they started giving her steroids to increase her appetite as she had lost 10 lbs in the past few months. The appetite returned but now that is all she thinks of. Every moment she is awake she begs for food. So much i literally have to shut her in a room or shut myself in a room to make her stop. The issue is that i do this every day and have done this every day for a year. I didnt notice that it had been slowly chipping away at my sanity but this episode made it clear to me. I just bottle it up and every once and a while it leaks out and whoever is in the way gets shit on. That is not right and not fair to the community. I used to be patient but cant lie to myself anymore. It is bringing up bad memories of my mom who was bedridden for 3 years before she died 13 years ago. To be honest, i pushed away friends, quit my job and literally sit in my room waiting to feed my dog or clean up one of her messes and i thought initially that i was being a good dog owner by doing this. Now days, i literally just want her to die so i can be released from this hell. I resent her, like i did my mom and feel stupidly selfish for feeling that way which in turn makes me hate myself. People tell me that i need to take care of myself, but if i do that who is going to take care of my baby? Even though she has cognitive and physical issues it doesnt look like she wants to die and i just cant bring myself to put her down. Mostly this is just me getting things off my chest, but it also serves as an indication to the people i have been rude to that it is never about them. I'm not in a good place and it was never your fault for asking a question. IDK really why i am saying this to be honest but i felt like i had to get it off my chest. I know this mostly has nothing to do with growing weed and apologize for the rant. I dont have anyone to talk to so sorry.
 
Damn you! I haven’t cried this hard in years. I took care of my mom when she was dying, not that long she only lived 8mo after she was diagnosed with cancer, but then I took over the care of my bedridden grandma for over two more years so I know exactly what you’re talking about and I realize I’m new here but fuck it I’ll speak for the majority.

Any time you want/need to rant or vent go ahead, I for one will read it.
 
I find that I am often reluctant to comment because 1) I still haven't harvested my first plant (looking good to be smoking my own by Halloween (incl drying and curing) and 2) I would feel like an idiot to just repeat what I just read yesterday on the site.. I do thank Sirius and Nebula for such a clear and informative site, although I could get confused following directions to boil water.. Love to ya'll and keep growing..
 
I cannot remember a time in my life when I have not had animals as part of the family. Many dogs, cats, birds, fish, and even a semi wild orphaned deer that decided to make us their family and often followed us whenever we went outside around the acreage.
The sad part is when they leave us but the happiness is from the enjoyable time we spent together. Unfortunately some times we have to think of them and their suffering even though we want desperately to still have them around.
We have had dogs we were forced to carry outside to do their thing for at least a year who could not walk up and down steps anymore. My question has been, are they enjoying life or are they suffering too much? If they are suffering too much then it's time to say our goodbyes and be glad they will be in peace and for the time we had. Tersky it's not wrong to help your friend find peace.
 
I love your kind heart, your sensitivity and the care you give to your family. Tersky as painful as it is loosing a family member be it human or pet it is kind and humane not to allow them to suffer. It is the work of an Angel allow yourself to set your soul free and allow your friend to romp in the grass of doggie heaven. Peace and much love and respect....Liz
 
I was there reading through it just after it started and yes it could have and probably should have gone differently but I don't believe that the other guy wanted anything but to fight once it started, Tersky you tried to deescalate the argument more than once that guy was intentionally pushing your buttons and he was out of line. I've only been around here a couple months so I don't know you guys that well but I can definitely say that even when we disagree there might be a small poke of attitude but that guy got carried away especially when he started threatening. I was in the middle of writing and attempted to help deescalate but I would have probably joined into the argument if the post wasn't deleted before I finished writing. We are all here for the camaraderie this is a great community and like in any community we are not always going to be on the same page but as long as we turn that page at the end of the day we'll wake up neighbors and friends
 
I’m so sorry to hear this Tersky. I think most of us have been in this position at one point, and understand how helpless you feel. You are being a good owner♥️ You’re choosing what’s best for you and yours. Oftentimes you have to do things in a way that isn’t exactly the best, in order to realize that you need to find a better way.
What happened yesterday was really ugly, but I challenge anyone to say that a great thing didn’t come out of it. I saw people supporting each other, building each other up and defending each other. It was beautiful.
I think you’re all a great group of people, and I fully intend to stay, as long as you’ll have me.
Much love and respect to you all♥️
 
It's good to talk - my avatar 'Fuzzy' - had the same doggie problem. After a few months of it - my wife and I considered his 'quality of life and one Sunday he just couldn't get his back end up to do his business - so we called the vet and she came to our house that day to help us out.
 
They’re beautiful. I bet they kept good watch last night so you could rest. Today is a new day, and I hope you’re feeling awesome! Bring on 2024😂😘
 
I did read the shit that the guy was saying I was budding👈Haha budding...in when it was deleted so my post never made it in there (probably a good thing) it wasn't the fact that the guy was an asshole we're all assholes at some point it was when Tersky was trying to deescalate the whole thing he mentioned the fires and other shit causing stress, the other guy instead of letting it deescalate started talking more shit literally saying shit like wishing their homes would burn with them in it and that is where the line was crossed. So for Tersky to apologize for what happened in that case is more out of line than what he said during that interaction. As for just general being grumpy and snappy I'm personally guilty of it and I to apologize to everyone for it... sometimes our mouths gets ahead of our minds
 
There are three kinds of people:
Those who make things happen
Those who watch things happen
and
Those who wonder what happened.
I'm always behind door #3 :D
 
They are so protective!
Every morning 6 o clock, they wait to get inside and get morning food. Motivation for the night !😎
I slept 4 hours last night, this is the most I get without weed.
But thanks!! I keep you up on 2024 ! 😗
 
Good morning Tersky
Like I said this isn't directed at one person this is something I have found to help me stay positive and helpful on here. This is a weed forum but it is also a support group for it members in more ways then one.

FYI I edited this post I meant to say main website, not main forum. Tincture was straight kicking in.
 
Dang, been there watching a relatively young dog fade away for 9 months, bad hips & discs. I'd hold him in the one position for hours so he had pain relief and sleep, while my limbs went numb. I know I seem like a slacker on here but I have infusions two days/week. I have to make my 4-year-old pug's vegetarian meals for the week which takes up much of a day, he has a rare disease. I come home from infusions to clean up pee, not his fault. I was watching him waste away and cried on his 4th birthday in May bc I thought it would be his last. Between the local & ER vets' help he's gained 3.7 lbs. I started this grow and adopted a cat before I was diagnosed with a pituitary tumor, been waiting for 6 months to go to the right drs because of COVID. I'd rather grieve over the loss of a pet than have them think I abandoned them. If I didn't have to care for the pets I'd probably lay in bed most of the time. Can you lower or stop the steroids now Tersky ? Have you considered doggy diapers at night? Or wheels for her? I've buried four pugs, have two now. Been through a lot with their health which is why I adopted a cat the day before the shutdown, Friday the 13th of March. Vets are getting too expensive for my dogs, and the shelters needed clearing. When my mom died in a Veteran's Home (WWII WAC) it was just me and my first pug there with her. Take care of both of you. <3
 
I'm sorry to hear about your dog and I understand how you feel. I had to make the decision a few months ago to put our American bulldog Missie to sleep. She was going blind and occasionally starting to just pee where she stood and sometimes when she was led down she also developed like an abscess on her cheek and a lump around her eye but they would go up and down in size, turns out she had a mass tumor. When I took her to the vets I was fully expecting her to come back home with me but had to make the decision instead to put her to sleep. When I rang my wife to let her know what I had to do my children were with her I had to listen to my daughter breaking her heart and begging me to bring her home it was really heart breaking but in hindsight it really was the right thing to do. I was unable to go into the vets with my Missie to have her put to sleep due to covid and watching her being walked off back inside and not being able to be with her for her last breath was hard.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that sometimes we have to make decisions we don't like and making the decision to put a pet down is hard and does come with a feeling of guilt attached to it, you are after all deciding whether to end there life and you have to sign for that. Like others have said you have to weigh up their quality of life and I think you have put your emotions aside when weighing that up.
 
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