That's a toughie. I was in the Army. Missed Desert Storm, literally, by two weeks. Also discharged on medical. Back in the day there was no aftercare sort of thing. I was 18 and bullet proof and wanted a shot at Saddam and his cronies because of what he was doing to his own people. I was training to kill and understood people would be trying to kill me. Luckily, I didn't have to go through either.
Find out where your closest VA hospital or clinic is and tell them you need to talk with someone. 888.640.5443 is the VA crisis hotline. The VA saved my life more than once because of pretty serious bi-polar depression and alcoholism (and having part of my colon removed when it ruptured.) You and I have different forms of PTSD. Wanting someone to hurt you to feel good isn't... um... it isn't right. Other than getting beat up by my brother growing up, I've been in one serious fight in my life. Not because I'm scared of getting hurt. Because I'm scared of what I'm capable of and don't think I would know when to stop. When I get good and mad I get serious tunnel vision. I took Wing Tsun for a few years before the army. In sparring, I had broken other's noses. Ruptured a spleen. Broken two collar bones. Damaged some ribs. But never got hit in the face. Weapons like nunchaku, tonfa, escrima, and bo staff are great to beat the hell out of shit like punching bags.
Do you have any sort of activities in your life? Martial arts is a hell of a good thing for folks who need to get that fight or flight reflex pumping. Do some, and take some punishment from others.