I just need a little support from the animal lovers...

[alltatup]

I took my beloved Blue pup to vet today cuz she's been acting strange, to find out she has an enlarged heart and congestive heart failure and could literally drop dead at any moment. He gave me some meds for her, I just feel so bad, like I don't even wanna grow cannabis. If I had friends here whose shoulders I could cry on, I would, but I don't, not really. Pretty much of a loner and I can't stand phoniness and straight mentality--"Oh, it'll be ok": no, it won't. I told her on the drive home (vet's 20 miles away) that she's prolly my most beloved comrade, what a great dog she is, that I don't want her to keel over. But I know I have to accept whatever is gonna come, cuz there ain't no life without death following after.

It's funny to feel so intimate on various levels with you all: some of you are legal, but many of you are outlaws like me, and it's a special bond we share through our perceived criminality (if we got caught). Life just looks kinda washed out right now... broken heart...

[Chemichael]

Hopefully she will live out her life. Whatever and for how long you are the best thing she's got and she loves you for it.

[alltatup]

Thanks, Chem: she really does know that I love her, and I'm telling her to let her heart keep beating... I gave her her meds when we got home.

[tyler_ hobbyist]

I really wish I could give u a hug ur animals become like ur children I have had to put dogs down and it seems like ur world is ending I got to pups right now and I would be lost without them my female pup is like my best freind my male is the biggest suck ever for 180lbs he thinks he's a little lap dog. My heart go's out to u spend what time u can with ur fur babie. it will be hard when she go's but we are all here for u

[tyler_ hobbyist]

What kinda pup is she?

[alltatup]

She's a blue chihuahua. I rescued her in Feb 2011; she'd been abused and wouldn't let me touch her for quite a few days, but she'd crawl under the covers with me at night. Now she licks my nose and lets everyone pet her.

[tyler_ hobbyist]

She sounds cute and that's so amazing what u have done for her I resuced my female shepard she was beaten as well and would go crazy after men exspect me, she's gotten 95percent better as long as I'm around.

[tyler_ hobbyist]

When I was younger me and my brother had an American bulldog and he droped dead one day from the same condition, so I know how ya feel he was only 4years old as well. I wish I could give ya a hug lol

[alltatup]

Hey thanks, tyler, I feel the spiritual hug. Appreciate it. Love my baby Blue.

[tyler_ hobbyist]

She must be some amazing girl she will always be with u in ur heart and u will always be in hers

[alltatup]

Yes, I know that is true. Love never dies!!!!!

[BG Bud]

Hey Alltatup. Cyber hug man ! I have 2 Bostons and have had dogs all my life. They are our fur babies . My son has a bulldog with same condition. He took her to a clinic in Seattle ( we live in Victoria BC ) as nobody in Canada could treat her and all the vets were guessing. In the end there is no repair however the med combo that she is on has given her new life. She has more energy and character now than ever. She obviously has had this condition for a very long time. The specialist said only to let her pace herself. This was 6 months ago and I am currently babysitting her and we just got back from a walk and a swim in the ocean. She is much happier than I ever recall. She gets 2 different meds 3 times a day and has not looked back. She could easily live out her normal life now but still need to be cautious.
Keep your thoughts positive and just think of the life you have given her by saving her ! Thoughts and prayers with you 2 !!

[alltatup]

Thanks so much, BG!! The vet put her on three meds immediately, and said we'd have to see, and he told me about other dogs who are on them and doing great. I should have taken her to the vet in the fall: she had a couple of "fainting" spells and I didn't want it to be anything serious, so I ignored it. It's called denial. I feel stupid about that, but I understand my denial and have learned an important lesson about heeding my animals' symptoms. It's one day at a time right now, she's chillin right in front of me, and I trust her no matter what.
My neighbor down the street has 2 bulldogs, and they are hilarious; they come off so aggressive, yet they are soooooo sweet. My male chihuahua Busta hates them though, and chest butts them when they come down here!!!

[BG Bud]

By the way Alltatup ,what a freaky sky pic ! Where was that ?

[alltatup]

I had a pic of Blue up, and I got paranoid, so it's a tsunami CLOUD formation. It's beautiful, isn't it.

[Canyon Grower]

alltatup , im sure we are all saddened to hear about your pups illness. My wife and I just put down our 13 yr old. It is a tragic time for any family. I wish you and your buddy much happiness in the time you gave left together. Savor every minute and dont miss any opportunity to let her know how much you love her.
Blessings on both of you.

[alltatup]

Thanks, Canyon, and it really means so much to hear that others feel my experience!!! When we went to bed last night, I told her, I'm right here, you do you, Blue, I love you with all my heart, and she was just resting so peacefully right by me. Now she's doing the same on the sofa. One day at a time. I really feel the strength and support of all the animal lovers on this forum. Y'all my homies.

[007]

I'm really sorry to hear that. There's something special about bonding with animals. You can't just give them a card that says nice things, you have to really show them you love them and the effort is so worth it because they're loyal forever. I've lost so many pets over the years, and it never gets any easier. Take care, and know your fellow outlaws and pet lovers are thinking of you <3

[alltatup]

Yup, it doesn't get easier, and I've lost so many, too, cuz I can't imagine my life without my critter buddies in it. Sometimes you just get so fed up with humans, and you come home, and the love and joy is overflowing. I've always had cats: my two chihuahuas are my first dogs, and the bond is quite different and much deeper with them. Cats also love deeply and intensely, but they are so much more independent--and, well, they just aren't dogs.
Down wit my outlaws!

[yamiacaveman]

Hey alltatup, really feel for you, worst thing in the world. I had a blue doberman, my wife and I rescued several years ago. He was only with us for a half a year or so when my wife was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. He stayed with her day and night through Chemo, radiation, and operations. When things were looking good for my wife, he developed a cough, and died 3 days later. I am not a superstitious or religious person, but the devotion he gave my wife through her journey, it really was like he was sent to us for a reason.

The best of luck my friend.

[alltatup]

Wow, caveman, that is an amazing story and I so appreciate you sharing it!!! He was there at exactly the time he needed to be, doing exactly what he needed to do. You know in buddhism they say that a pet who is fortunate to get with excellent humans has a much greater possibility of reincarnating as human because of the karma and the entire relationship. When I first read your post, I thought, that dog was so ready to come back as a human--probably as a really compassionate doctor.

You really give me strength, caveman, cuz you and your wife and the dog have been through so much more, and it puts my situation in perspective.

[intergalactic_harvester]

sorry to hear about your puppy. that really sucks.

[alltatup]

Thanks, harvester: ain't no life without death, I know this... But she's alive this morning, and that's enough for me.

[intergalactic_harvester]

you awake too?
ya, hard truth. didn't wanna go into it all yesterday, but my girl in the picture up there could very well be on a similar course. bad genetics and the runt to boot. ligaments/kneecaps failed to fuse properly and one side started to tear out already at 1.5 yrs old. fixing them will cost 5k minimum for a MAYBE success, and severe arthritis will surely cripple her up pretty good by the time shes hitting 6 or 7 yrs. no way I can do 5k, so I'm stuck holding on to her day by day until both sides eventually fail (could be today, could be several months) or by some miracle it starts raining money.
so in a way I feel your pain, and this is as close to a big hug as I can give you and your pup from here.

[alltatup]

Yeah, I'm up every morning in the dark; I like to watch it get light outside. So sorry to hear about your pupster, who is really beautiful!!! It's a sad, sad state of affairs when it costs thousands for a maybe. Here is what we both have to remember: we do the best we can by them, and what our wallet can afford; we give them as good a life as we can, and as peaceful and dignified a passing on when the time comes. Here's a hug back at you and your pupster!!!

[Budlofsky's Dinner]

I know how ya feel. Based on the replies, safe to say I' m not the only one. Forum might be focused on another common interest, but the love of friends we care for is one of the things we all can understand. Got your back if you need to vent.

[alltatup]

Ya know, it's funny, but this was the only place I really felt safe and supported talking about it. And it's because animals have come up a lot on this forum, especially the thread with all the adorable pics, but it blew me away from the start when I began here in November how many people were into a really kind of spiritual cultivation of cannabis--I mean as a kind of sacred, medicine-giving practice--and how many people deeply loved their other species buddies. So I knew I had found the right forum. I knew I could start the thread the way I started it, cuz this is my special community. The folks I have to work with are not my friends and my heart has not much in common with their hearts. But sooooooo many hearts and spirits on this forum resonate with mine...

[Dirty kirty]

You and the pup are in my prayers

[alltatup]

Thanks a million, Dirty: I know she's picking up on it!!!

[fozzy]

I'm feeling for you brother! I hope all things work out for the best for you and her! Your are right about the bond! It's pretty cool that we all have friends that we haven't even met, that we can share our joys and sorrow's with!

[alltatup]

Thanks so much fozzy!! We have shared a lot of important stuff on this forum--the thread about the best strains for anxiety/depression was a tremendously open discussion; I felt so much a part of a community who understood me!! Same with all the animals who hang out all over this forum in the avatars and in the grow rooms, etc. etc.

(I'm your sister, though) ;-}