Who here has been in the military

[Spidermite]

I'm lost as a civilian. Who here is lost too? I have been medically retired for years. I'm lost. I want to go back and fight again as my mind was not messed up then. I followed orders period. Now i see what I did. I want that feeling of I was right again. I'll give up everything to be back there again. You point and I'll do the rest. I dont want to hurt anyone I just want to stop my mind and that requires people trying to kill me

[Spidermite]

Guess I am alone

[Colombo]

Hey Spidermite, First , Thank You for your service !! I cannot say I know what you have gone through first hand but second hand. I come from a family that has served 3 wars and delt first hand with the repercussions of war. The night mares, drinking etc I learned all too well. One thing common they all talked to me about was the loss of their friends and the bond that came with becoming a soldier. That time spent day in and day out with someone you never new but became to trust and love because your lives depended on each other. The loss of the missions that confirmed your responsibility as a soldier. As a civilian that void is not filled. Surround yourself with people that fill that category. Get involved with fellow active soldiers and retired vets to get the feeling of accomplishment back along with the friendship, camaraderie and love you had for each other before. It's not a cure but a way to channel some of what you are dealing with. My family fought in WW I, Korea and Vietnam and this was the common denominator from all 3 when they came home. I hope this helps a little and puts you at some ease that I hear your anguish and am here to listen any time you need. In the meantime challenge yourself in the garden, a place that proves your not lost as a citizen but yern for the camaraderie of your brothers in arms.

Stay Safe !! And remember, Good Growing !!

[Toker1]

Hey bro. Never alone on here. Always some goid grow buddies to chat with.
Hope you are feeling better today!

[SirSmksAlot]

I'm sorry that your mind is so unsettled man. I have never served but I sure respect people who do/have. There has to be something that can stimulate the mind in a similar way that battle would without the worry of death.

[Spidermite]

I wish there was. It's the thought of losing that stimulants me. Others know I was big in MMA but I'm getting to old. I'm really surprised no one else here still has my issues. Two years ago there were alot here with my issues. Under my old name.

[Smokesteve]

Spidermite Love you bro. Grow great buds!

[MJTECH]

I'm lost as a civilian. Who here is lost too?

I was for a while after returning from Vietnam, life sucked, but I learned with some friends in sort of the same boat, the true answer is throw away your minds rearview mirror and concentrate on your life looking forward.

I don't know your age but it doesn't matter you still have the ability to have a really good life going forward.

Don't give up anything to go back, go forward with each day, you are only doomed if you think you are, or are listening to people trying to convince you are, screw them and know in your heart you're a good person and this problem can be worked out.

Stay healthy, stay positive and please never give up and never listen to anyone who wants to bring you down, and know in your heart your life is worth so much more than those who think like that,

[stump]

I did 20 regular army years and have been retired for 21 years and still feel that way. Stay strong brother .

[Formernuke]

9 years 1 month 17 days. I'm not lost but highly disappointed in watching the freedoms we fought for be ignored or stripped away.

[MJTECH]

I'm lost as a civilian.

Hey Spider are you still here and are you ok?

Please let me know.

MJ

[Spidermite]

MJTECH Yes I am and I'm am doing much better. Just a bad few days. Today is another harvest day so I'm enjoying my work and my results. Just had to much happening around me.

Thanks for checking.

[MJTECH]

Good, real good, please take care of yourself.

MJ

[Toker1]

There are some good groups available out there that may be able to help.

https://maketheconnection.net/events/transitioning-from-service