Apologies to the community

[Tersky]

Let me first start off by apologizing to the community and SiriusFourside for my behavior on a now deleted post made by someone else. I had a part in the chaos and probably should have just blocked the dude instead of fighting with him. That said i dont feel bad for confronting guys like the one who is no longer here. I could have handled it differently and dont want new growers to be afraid to post questions. I can only speak for myself but considering everything that is going on in the world my patience is not where i want it to be. Sometimes i get frustrated with some new growers that seem to only want to learn though asking us stuff rather than putting the time into doing research like most of us had to in the beginning. Like i said i can only speak for myself, but if i were to snap at someone i want them to know it is never fully about them. It is usually just a build up of bs that i have been dealing with that leaks out in inappropriate ways. I advise the best course of action if you do get snapped at is to maybe PM the person and set a boundary but in a loving way. Doing so would make me feel like shit for snapping and i would admit my fault and apologize. I am not trying to make excuses for my behavior just trying to explain what i am thinking. Once again i am only speaking for myself but please understand that we are people too, and i genuinely want to help. I will not stand by however and let someone shit all over this forum and if that means repercussions, i'm fine with that.

Once again i apologize for being part of the fighting at times and will take a little break to deal with shit and see if ya'll want me back. Good luck and happy growing.

[Rwise]

The other persons comments were out of line, sorry but I waved the red flag.

[Tersky]

Thats what i should have done my friend.

[MeEasy]

I was there reading through it just after it started and yes it could have and probably should have gone differently but I don't believe that the other guy wanted anything but to fight once it started, Tersky you tried to deescalate the argument more than once that guy was intentionally pushing your buttons and he was out of line. I've only been around here a couple months so I don't know you guys that well but I can definitely say that even when we disagree there might be a small poke of attitude but that guy got carried away especially when he started threatening. I was in the middle of writing and attempted to help deescalate but I would have probably joined into the argument if the post wasn't deleted before I finished writing. We are all here for the camaraderie this is a great community and like in any community we are not always going to be on the same page but as long as we turn that page at the end of the day we'll wake up neighbors and friends

[OlderNOTwiser]

OK. Been a few minutes so... welcome back!

You're not alone by any means. I read every day and post rarely because I'm so disappointed in people in general but all the noobs (we all were) that just don't seem to read the main site before asking for a hand held for the next 4 months. I'm sure a lot of this is from all of the "covid gardeners" we're seeing this year. Never grown anything and can't understand why it is so difficult to just drop a seed and end up with 4 tons of weed in 30 days. And it damned well better be good weed. Or we didn't give the proper advice! My recent favorite was a noob posted and then bitched a few hours later because no one helped yet. Everyone here is a volunteer offering what they have learned over time. And donating THEIR time to help because it is just the right thing to do.

Hang in there. It will get better (I sure as hell hope so!).

[Tersky]

Lol i will still log in from time to time and thought it would be rude if i made a post and just rage quit. I wont be posting on other posts for the mean time is what i meant to say. I have to listen to the feedback if i make a post, good or bad, or im just being hypocritical and closed minded. I am thankful for all the support i do have on this site despite my cantankerous attitude at times. That said i shouldnt dish it out if im not going to take it. A closed mind cant learn. I'm sure that is a paraphrased quote but true nonetheless.

[CaptainWiese91]

Agreed 💯

[cybersmib]

I find that I am often reluctant to comment because 1) I still haven't harvested my first plant (looking good to be smoking my own by Halloween (incl drying and curing) and 2) I would feel like an idiot to just repeat what I just read yesterday on the site.. I do thank Sirius and Nebula for such a clear and informative site, although I could get confused following directions to boil water.. Love to ya'll and keep growing..

[Xena]

Man you got nothing to apologize for we all get a case of the grumpies every so often and turn into an ass but in my opinion the interaction you’re talking about was 99.9% on the other guy. I am probably guilty of asking when I should be researching and I’ve been a part of other groups and answering the same question for the 100th time sometimes it’s almost impossible not to just say go F***ing look it up. Anyway.....personally I don’t think you have much to apologize for and I for one thank you for the time you’ve spent answering my questions.

[Tersky]

I appreciate that. I feel as if i dont admit my mistakes i can never learn from them. Also it would be hypocritical to be angry at someone for acting like an ass while i act like an ass myself. I see the anger in social media today (especially in the states) and want to stay away from it so causing it on another site is what i regret and do not want for this site. All i can do is apologize and try to make amends even if i feel justified for my anger as anger begets anger and hate begets hate.

[CaptainWiese91]

I consider myself still as a new member to the forum, I joined in may.
so I really hope it’s not me you are referring too.
because ! I know I have already snapped at some people in here, and for that, I’m out for a couple of days from the forum. Not an apology but it’s just some thoughts in my mind.
I share the feeling about the “new” growers. I’m a new member but not a new grower. And sometimes I even snapped at some “new growers” just because it was a totally normal understanding you should have, before even starting the cannabis grow. And this sometimes piss me off. I understand the need the new growers have for knowing if they are doing it right. But! BUT sometimes is just question on question on questions. And all the answers I give, have nebula or Sirius already made an article about, with much easier answers than mine.
I love to help !! Really this is why a joined the site. Or else I just could keep on reading the main site and don’t bother sitting on here.

You are doing really good work ! And you are one of the 4 members in here I, seriously look up to. Beside Rwise and JohnEmad. (The last member is a surprise)

Happy growing Capt

[Tersky]

Nothing about this had to do with you my man. It was purely an introspective post. I have noticed some "old timers" get less and less patient but i totally understand as it seems as the world is getting more hostile. I do not wish that for this site and fear that my attitude lately has been contributing to it.

[CaptainWiese91]

Honestly, I think you are overthinking mate.
It’s is a good thing ! The thing I love about this forum is the love and kindness in here. You don’t have on other sites for example.
Não you’re attitude has been fine man. I never noticed any form of “harshness” from you.
I’m sorry for you with the experience with that “Grower” I wish I made that conversation with him and not you.
I left my conscience in Afghanistan. I wouldn’t feel bad, if the jerk was an asshole in the first place, like the others say

[MeEasy]

I did read the shit that the guy was saying I was budding👈Haha budding...in when it was deleted so my post never made it in there (probably a good thing) it wasn't the fact that the guy was an asshole we're all assholes at some point it was when Tersky was trying to deescalate the whole thing he mentioned the fires and other shit causing stress, the other guy instead of letting it deescalate started talking more shit literally saying shit like wishing their homes would burn with them in it and that is where the line was crossed. So for Tersky to apologize for what happened in that case is more out of line than what he said during that interaction. As for just general being grumpy and snappy I'm personally guilty of it and I to apologize to everyone for it... sometimes our mouths gets ahead of our minds

[lalaland]

No apology required Tersky. I attempted to head that guy off at the pass when he was attacking Budgal to begin with, by explaining why people may be a little short with him. He didn’t want to see anyone else’s side, so I feel would have ended the same either way, regardless of what was said. I don’t post much, and have only asked a couple of questions, however when I do, someone graciously offers me their unpaid opinion, which I appreciate immensely.
Thank you to all of you for offering your knowledge to others. It’s an great thing👍

[Tersky]

Even if i feel justified, i know that it doesnt help to be that way. I appreciate you kind words.

[FunkyButtLovin]

Aww man, what happened? I missed some drama? This is my soap opera! I'm missing my damn program!

[Tersky]

That is me while browsing Nextdoor lol. To sum up, dude acted like ass, i acted like bigger ass and he came back with threats of violence and is now gone.

[CaptainWiese91]

Violence over the internet ? 😂
True keyboard warrior 🤦🏼🤦🏼

[AccidentalGardener]

There are three kinds of people:
Those who make things happen
Those who watch things happen
and
Those who wonder what happened.
I'm always behind door #3

[lalaland]

It was piss your pants funny😂😂except for the fact that Tersky feels bad now. That part isn’t funny

[CaptainWiese91]

I can’t get in Canada and get a visa before 2024 🤦🏼🤦🏼🤦🏼 Really want to see that country

[lalaland]

2024 is just around the corner! We’d love to have you visit Captainweise91😁

[CaptainWiese91]

If you want me ! I’m coming ! 🥰

4 years is not much, but what a systems just because you got convicted of assault charges and battery, I’m not welcome 🤦🏼😂
In Denmark we welcome every terrorist, and all criminals 🤣. One of the reason I left Scandinavia and moved to a catholic country in Southern Europe

[FunkyButtLovin]

Oh Em Gee is anyone going to tell me what happened or who else was involved?

[Rwise]

Check your PM FunkyButtLovin

[Tersky]

He aint here anymore so unfortunately you cant look him up. I can tell you this, he bragged about owning a web development firm that uses C++ saying that was harder than enterprise server maintenance. For reference c++ was the first programing language i learned like 20 years ago (former IT guy) so it's not something i would necessarily brag about if you dont know about that stuff.

[AccidentalGardener]

bwhahahahahahahahahah valley-boy roots showin

[Rwise]

Just ask anyone that ever worked under me, I was the head asshole in charge! I think most of us have that side.

[Canuck147]

I read it all as my coffee cup was draining. Made me chuckle a bit not much mind you. The British lad was in the wrong for going off into the deep end - and threatening to knock you into next week Tersky. So you really weren't out of line at all. Just count to 10 next time before answering. Sounds simple and that's what i did raising 3 kids.
Budgal was a bit blunt and direct at first - which set him off - and onto you.

Couple of years ago Nebula reprimanded me once - saying we don't offer that kind of advice - what i said to some poor chap from Japan who was complaining his plant was growing up into his light - was - borrow a saw and cut your floorboards to lower your plant.

Only been reprimanded once.

[Tersky]

CaptainWiese91 I am sorry to hear that man. Please do try and take care of yourself as i really value your input and humor. I too am out of weed which may be part of the problem as well but i would hate to hear that something happened to you or not to hear from you at all. I'm sorry that i dont know how to help you with your PTSD but i do want you to know that i care even though i dont know you that well. I know that you may think that these are just words and i can only imagine how it effects you but i know what it is like to suffer and it makes me sad to hear that someone is suffering. That doesnt mean i dont want to hear it btw, that means i wish i could help but am completely unqualified to give advice. I'll be glad to listen if you need someone to talk to but i may not be able to do much more than that. Demons of the mind are strong and cunning. I know that much too.

[CaptainWiese91]

Tersky
Holy crap that made me cry.....
this message means a lot to me ! I wish my family or friends would take the time to make that kind of message!
I really wish I could meet you in person and have a chat with you. You seem like a really nice guy! And I mean that from my heart !
Just having you, giving me the opportunity to talk with you, is more than my whole family ever did. Shit man....
can’t even type any word because my keyboard on the phone is full of tears..
I appreciate it ! I fully understand this ptsd is some hard shit to listen too😣 And I don’t expect nothing. But the way you are as I know you from here. You are a good person ! And all these posts on this thread, say that you have a heart.
Embrace it!
I was 19 on my first tour to Afghanistan in Helmand province, and I only took the second tour and the third because I didn’t know what to do.
Now? I’m sick on my 8th year now, and I have to live with it. It so damn hard..

Anyway sorry for the long reply. I really appreciate your honesty and your helpfulness! Kind and loving people is hard to find today.
“Be flexible, keep calm and carry on“ was my infantry platoon motto, and even that I can’t keep anymore.
Thanks for the loving words! Means the whole world to me right now ❤️

[Korn]

Canuck147 that advice may have been cost effective if the increased bud yield substantially offset the cost of repairing the floor. Ima remember that idea. Thanks!

[Mr.furley]

Tersky

I miss it! maybe that a good thing because I'm pretty sure 99% of you would give me the boot if you could and I could possibly be on my last leg with the powers that be, but here I am nana nana boo boo😛

Don't let people get to you on here, it's a place full of pot heads and mean boned people just don't cut it for long. I'd like to remind you that anyone that gets the boot can make a new profile to come back to pick a fight, I've seen this repeated with just the text Style and the way they write more then once over the years and though I missed the post you're talking about keep in mind people that like to be spiteful.

It takes a village to raise a child and this Village is full of compassion and understanding but still takes no shit.

Canuck147 advice above is one I've been following lately, when I find myself short-tempered I just put the fourm down for a minute go hang out with my plants and when I come back the problems not even there.

if some is being a asshat just flag them and let them take their java and go ahref their pHp in the css</>.

Growers Love my friend.

[Mr.furley]

Iv had to take more then one break over the years here. the first was when I was going through my divorce, things got ugly in my head and due to what was going on I had to tear my grow down mid flower. I just hung out and read, I had no advice to give mainly because I wasn't participating in growing at the time, this is the first time I've mentioned this on the Forum and it's been finalized for 2 years. The second was this spring, I just kind of got burned out and need to focus on my plant, I find myself helping less often than I used to and it kind of breaks my heart but it's needed for my headspace so I understand</>

[FunkyButtLovin]

I'm in the same mode right now and have been for a bit. I'm not reaching out near as often to offer help but I'm still around to give it when asked and participate in the threads that are less controversial. It seems like every other post creates an argument and I just don't feel like fighting usually.

Mark Twain — 'Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.'

[AccidentalGardener]

I <3 this so much

[JDU]

I'd like to try n talk ya into stayin but I get it. & right back atcha for steppin up for your part (in your mind anyways- I didn't think you were in the wrong at all- I woulda blasted him on the way to PM too)
& here's a Gibbs head slap for the comment 'If you all want me to come back' Nobody wants you to leave. & if they'll let me stick around you KNOW you're always welcome!!

[Tersky]

I understand my man. I'm not quitting, just need some time to deal with life. Still going to check messages and will reply if someone asks me but i need to stop feeling as if i have to be the one to help for my own sanity. It's not fair to Sirius either for me to keep getting people banned and starting shit. When i feel more calm and can better keep my attitude in check i'll be back in full. Sometimes you gotta take care of yourself before you can help others.

[FunkyButtLovin]

We're almost all doing it. Just step back and let someone else step in and help, there are plenty of people still actively helping everyday.

[buds73]

Well I've been here for about 5 wks or so now and I will admit when my very first post didn't much of a response and 1 or 2 of the responses I did get wasn't very positive I did think to myself what sort of forum is this? I asked for help? And I will admit I was a little hurt but do you know what? I stuck it out here and I've come to understand why some here reply the way they do. I've seen posts where even I've thought why the fuck are you asking that?
I've come to respect the views, opinions and advice that is given by all here but there's one post here by that really opened my eyes and made me think and I found it quite inspirational. That post was by AccidentalGardener and it was the original from a newb to a newb. So thank you for that.
Tersky We all say and do things when we may not necessarily be in the right frame of mind to do so, that's just part of who we are as people but I for one respect your input when replying and even I can see why you reply in the way you do I'm also pretty sure others feel the same. I feel you are well respected here by all who've stuck around long enough to know what this site and the people in it are about and your a valued person here so don't dissapear for too long.

Ps AccidentalGardener's post should be an inspirational sticky for the newbs

[Tersky]

I appreciate your feedback. I sometimes dont realize how cranky i can seem but am glad you stuck it out. My intention is never to drive people away, though i seem to be good at it. Just another confirmation that it is time to take a breather and come back when i get my head sorted. I know we all make mistakes and i am no exception. I am sorry if i made you feel unwelcome and will try and be more patient not just for you but all the new growers in the future.

[buds73]

Your appology is much appreciated but It's ok you didn't make me feel unwelcome and gave me a little kick I needed to do more research plus I probably took a little more offence than I should have but I too was not in a good frame of mind at the time having just found my mother has cancer (the reason I started this grow) It made me behave a little irrationally and jump into things and not think things through properly which caused a whole heap of problems for me. Anyway it's all good and like I said I have a lot of respect for you and the knowledge you bring to this great site.

[JohnEmad]

Tersky you are a wealth of information and I find your replies on point. Glad you are not shutting us off entirely.
Just a short time ago I was that annoying person asking all kindsofdumb questions. I was met with more help then I deserved and am grateful for the patient people here who helped. Hopefully I can learn enough to give back.
Being busy again with work and still inexperienced growing compared to many slows my responses and stops me from making a fool of myself.
Normally when I read a bad post I just leave it alone so they don'y gain any attention for it. ya I'm lazy too. lol.

[BR2K]

Here's my take: There are only a VERY few of the Old Guards left, since this forum was started. Tersky is one of them. This wonderful forum and GWE provide NECESSARY guidance for FREE. The VAST majority of people who visit and subscribe are here for but a brief moment of time. They get what they want and abandon ship. Who was it, that made the term "askholes"? It's a perfect fit for many. Not all but many.

Tersky, I request you cut yourself some slack, take a few long, deep draws from whatever Cannabis delivery system you use and come back ready to inform.

[Mr.furley]

Askholes! I'm totally stealing that.

[Tersky]

Thanks for that BR2K. I dont think i am being unreasonably hard on myself. Im not like bummed to be honest. I am a little disappointed in my actions but more so concerned at how i am affecting the community. I have been proud of this community for being civil compared to most social media and yet recently i have gone around and been less than compassionate to others, to put it nicely. I'm not going to lose sleep over this incident but it made me realize that i have been more asshole and less helpful lately and thats not who i want to be. Just need a mental health break i suppose. All my life i have been the one to fix things for others so i feel like i HAVE to help at times which is totally false. There are other very competent growers on here that can answer questions as well and i need to stop trying to control things... I dont hate myself for it or anything. Just gave me a reality check.

[BR2K]

Mr.furley Why not, I did